Fourth Form of Madness

Yay we’re still here! No end of the world drama to deal with which means I best get on and do some christmas shopping that I have been putting off!!!! It may not have been the end of the world but man it sure felt like it to me on the night of the 21st. I was at friends having a few drinks and being cooked for (yay my favourite). I had a headache earlier in the day but it suddenly slide up up to a Deathcon One status as I sat there chatting at the dining room table. I got panicky as my head started to scream and I felt like I was also going to vomit, which only made the situation worse. Luckily due to plenty of shoulder and god knows what else reconstructions my friends have undergone they have plenty of serious pain killers available. I downed what they gave me and literally collapsed on their couch. Two hours later, with people chatting around me, I woke up, dazed and groggy and totally confused. My head still sore but manageable. I only hope I hadn’t snored whilst unconscious.

The fun continued into the next day. I awoke at 6.30am with every intention of doing yoga. Infact I had planned to do the tri-fecta of yoga classes, assisting in another and then assisting in a third. Life continually teaches me not to plan, I only wish I would listen. There was no way I was getting out of bed, the migraine had returned with avengence. I thought I could sleep it off and go to another class closer to home at 9.30am. But 9.30am came and there was still no way I was leaving that dark room. So I surrendered and popped some more pills and sunk into a deep sleep full of vivid dreams.

They were the most dark, mythological, joseph campbell types dream. On waking I wished I was still seeing my Jungian dream analyst therapist. A while back when my life had taken a turn into craziness, I dragged myself off to every specialist and a couple of yoga knowledgeable I could find. On my first visit, the beautiful, very womanly Jungian therapist said to me in her no nonsense way, “relax you’re sane, your not going crazy, but your not here for psychoanalyst, why don’t we just do dream analysis”. At that stage I was dreaming prolifically so I thought why not! It turned out to some of the most interesting and revealing self work I have ever done (and painful). I got more bang for my buck when she revealed she was also a bit of a knowledgeable on chakras. This wonderful therapist who had studied under the right hand of Jung (studied straight under this assistant) also had this wonderful esoteric side. Turns out Jung did to, he was a big fan of Kundalini Yoga and believed that this style of yoga, coupled with self-analysis (contemplation), would get you home.

So in the end, I didn’t end up getting out of bed on Saturday until 4.30 in the afternoon. Never in my life have I slept so much or dreamt so much. I felt like I was in a brave new world as I got myself ready for a dinner out with my friend. I felt a tinsy winsy bit like a walking zombie as my head still wasn’t 100% there. However, the good foods and conversation helped me come to a bit. When you have been debilitated for even a short amount of time it makes you ever so much more grateful for everything in your life. Gratefulness is such a wonderful feeling to manifest and harbour in your life. It can be one of the rocks that keeps you centred when all else is crazy. I find when I don’t focus on being grateful I pretty much turn into a spoiled monster – whinging about this and wingeing about that. Very pleasant I know. So I try to chose grateful first and foremost. Simple choice which makes a big difference to how you live.

I’m off now to ready myself for my mother and her two energetic dogs who will, along with my dog, turn my quiet house into a mad barking kennel and I will smile, grateful for the experience.