Fourth Form of Madness

This week my car got broken into. I had just come from a relaxing session of yoga out into the cool night breeze. As I come straight from work for this class, I have gotten into the habit of walking from the class to my car without shoes on. Heels don’t go so well with yoga attire. I usually walk on the cold crisp grass and the bitumen and I love feeling the different textures under my feet. This particular night, as a special treat from nature, there were some wild bunnies hopping crazily around the grass (I seem to have a bit of a bunny theme going on in my life at present, an interesting totem).

So as I am chatting to the bunnies and tip toeing over the freezing yet invigorating ground, I open my passenger door of my car to see papers strewn everywhere. Now the next few seconds I love, it’s the time where the mind still working with the image of the car as I left it, can’t quite figure out what the hell is going on – how did these papers get here. Those precious seconds were the mind is ungrounded and struggling to catch up with life, I now kind of love exploring these moments. Then someone presses the reset button on my mind and I realise “oh I must have been broken into”. Then I walked around to my driver side and there was no doubt left that someone had broken in, not only had they broken the window but they had also managed to twist the whole door frame. As I stood amongst the glass, I decided it was time to dress up my yoga outfit with a pair of heels.

Luckily that night it was freezing cold and I lived 45 minutes from my home. So as I drove the crisp and invigorating drive home, with one side of me being warmed by the heaters I had blasting on me and the other getting treated to cold, crisp wind therapy, I contemplated my car getting broken into and someone taking my radar detector and all the items in the centre console, which to be fair, I think was yoga music and not much else. The interesting thing for me was that for a while now I have been working on giving. Not the giving where it is of your own volition, where you want to give, but the kind of giving where you don’t really want to give but do it anyway. So often when life brings me to this decision point, I shut down, close up and dig in with my resistance against doing something I don’t want to do. I chose to stay stuck. Why would we ever chose to stay stuck – lots of reasons, but maybe they all revolve a little around identifying yourself to strongly as separate, as an individual. Maybe a little fear comes into it, something along the lines of “where will I define the borders of me if I give everything, what will be left that I can say, this is me?”.

Who knows, all I know is it’s an area that I have been really working on this year, I guess life felt like it need to give me a little push on this one 🙂 As it turns out, other than the inconvenience of not having a car for 8 weeks due to the door having to be fixed, the break in didn’t bother me at all. I had something that someone else needed, so they got it. Pretty simple when you don’t put a lot of rules and regulations around it. I have a very fortunate life, others have a less fortunate one. Things just balance out.

When I got home, frozen on one side of me and slightly less frozen on the other, I felt like I had to defrost my hands off the steering wheel. Later, thawing out in the lounge room with the heater switched to high, Hubby said “Well you must be pleased, someone finally took some of your music”. I used to live in South Perth many years ago, and my car got broken into about 6 times whilst I lived there and not once did they take my music! I was pleased this time it was yoga music, nice relaxing, mood softening yoga music. I really hope they listen to it and it brings them joy and peace.