Fourth Form of Madness

A few years back I was casually flicking through the local newspaper and chatting with my husband over a nice glass of chardonnay, or two, when I read a letter to the editor from a single mother who’s car had been broken into. In the car was her son’s money he had saved for a puppy he really wanted to buy and basically the mother was just airing her disappointment in the people that had broken into her car and stolen her son’s money. I really identified with the story, I to had suffered disappoints of that kind. However, the thing that really got me was the young boy not getting his puppy (I’m a big fan of dogs). Now this was still at a time when I was quite shy of strangers and getting involved, so I umed and arhed about whether I should do something. As usual hubby, the voice of pure reason, settled the matter by declaring “You should definitely do this, get involved”.

Fuelled by my hubby’s encouragement, and a touch of chardonnay, I sent an email to the editor offering to buy a dog for the little boy and vet treatment. Before I knew it I was meeting up with the mother and the son. I really hit it off with the mother right away and before long we were swapping life stories. She was a remarkable woman, and an absolute devoted mother and I felt fortunate to be part of this project to find a dog for her son. Over the next few weeks we went to various pounds and private sellers until he found the most adorable jack russell. It was a happy story all around but the thing that really struck me with this whole process is that when people found out what I was doing they all open heartedly jumped in and became involved in any way they could. From the seller knocking money off, to the vet clinic ringing me and advising that they would offer them a discount on all visits, to the local paper running a front page story on the boy with his new dog (which I declined to be named in, so when they referred to my hubby and I in the story they said “kindly elderly couple” – ouch I was only 34 then!)

The experience changed my life. Instead of studying philosophy or sociology only out of book, I was putting some of my learnings into practice into life and it was exhilarating and liberating. That experience taught me far more than I could ever learn out of a book. I learnt that we are at our best when we are of service to others. When we give because there is a need and you can fill it, it feels so natural and unfettered, so uncomplicated. I understand that many things stop us from offering assistance where assistance is needed but it is imperative that we examine what those factors stopping us are. When a large percentage of the world is living in poverty/in hunger, and a large percentage of this number are children, it is of the utmost important that we look within and understand how we define our duty of care to others, or to be topical, how we define the other. Be honest and see if what you find, sits well with how you want to be in this world. The rest is up to you 🙂

When I was about 8 one of my fellow school mates casually whispered to me at the end of story time on the mat, “It’s hard to believe that the sky goes on forever”. Now at 8 this was something I had never even considered and this statement quite literally blew my mind, or at the very least extended its boundaries. As I sat there contemplating this difficult concept, I felt how unsettled and undefined my mind had become as it had no experience to comprehend it with. I loved the feeling though, so it shouldn’t have been any surprise that I fell in love with philosophy years later.

From then on I have always had a thing with the sky. My father is a sea person, he is definitely at his happiest when he is in his boat or somehow near the water. My mother is an earthy person, her special place is her garden and she has often told me that she feels that this is her sanctuary. For me my sanctuary is the sky. If I want to kick back and relax and recharge, I can achieve it by lying on a blanket in our back garden looking up at the sky. Such feelings of ease and peace can come from this simple act.

It doesn’t even have to be the “real” sky to hold my fascination. A few years back I was at a work function at a winery in the Swan Valley. There was this amazing picture of a close up of a piece of sky that had been painted by a local artist. The mood of the picture was somewhat dark with a touch of lightness coming through at the edges and I couldn’t stop staring at it. It was achingly beautiful to me. I must have stared at it with such devotion as two of the guys I worked with decided they would go halves and buy it for me. This overwhelmed me as it was quite a lot of money but one of the guys said to me “We want to do this because the way you look at that picture it really belongs with you”. I hope this was the real reason and not the wine talking 🙂

However, my favourite association with the sky came about from a random meeting with a man on a train. One evening after working late, I flopped into a seat beside a middle aged man. We struck up a conversation about a movie he had just seen. He had a rich Spanish accent and I enjoyed what he was saying as much as how he was saying it. Before long we were having an interesting conversation basically about whether people are born good or if they learn to be it. He was of the innate persuasion and I was of the “you learn’ it conviction. On and on we discussed this topic, him using examples of what he had seen in his son as he grew up, me using examples of what I had learnt during my life. We talked so much he almost missed his stop, his parting words to me was to point out that all the things I thought I had learnt about being “good” might have been me returning to innate ideas that were already within me. Nice parting shot when I didn’t have time to reply. And then he said “Thanks for the conversation, my name is …………, which means in Spanish where the sky meets the sea.” Where the sky meets the sea, I mused over this as the train continued on and then I realised, the sky doesn’t actually meet the sea, it just appears to at the horizon. For some reason I felt that familiar unsettling of my mind that I felt when I was 8 and contemplating an infinite sky and this time I settled into its unknownness with ease.

I started yoga teacher training at the beginning of this year as I felt I was ready to learn more about yoga. Over the years I have made two previous attempts at starting this but this time, everything just felt right. Which is funny because this year is turning out to be an absolute ripper of a year in terms of work commitments, life events and other study duties. In fact, of all the years, this should have been the year that I avoided taking on anything else. And yet here I am……truly loving it all and feeling supported by it rather than crushed from it. This approach towards life is a gift from yoga, I have no idea how it works but the more you practice the more it manifests and it is truly a blessing. I sometimes liken this approach to life like being in really big surf, there’s a little fear and lots of respect for the awesome power of this body of water you are in, out of this awareness you let’s it fluidity blend with your fluidity and you flow as one, the rhythm of your breath matching the rhythm of the tide, in and out, in and out, to the song of nature. So instead of trying to tame it (also known as struggling hee hee), it reclaims you with the softest of loving touches.

So I begin my journey of teacher training and to be fair there is a lot of “what the hell am I doing here” moments as with all new things that take you away from your comfort zone. My “what the hell?” moments are sparked by the fact that of all the places I could have selected to learn at this is probably the most hands on school. Great, but I’m not a hands on kind of gal (or so I think ;-)). And yet even though I am experiencing extreme discomfort at having to get into peoples space and adjust them, I’m still feeling this is exactly where I need to be . So I go with it, Life is one entity I’ve learnt not to disagree with, it’s too wise! At the same time, I am getting intensive”hug” therapy from my friend Jane, which is slowly melting down my resistance to touching.

And then it happens, the tables are turned and instead of being the one adjusting in a therapy class, I am actually participating in it, due to a sore lower back. How lucky was I as the experience transformed me! I always kind of thought of therapy yoga as a little bit intrusive as when you are going within all this touching would bring you back out. The key word in that sentence being “thought”. Once I experienced the class through my body I realised I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was so comforting to be adjusted by my fellow yoga trainees. Their gentle yet firm touches adjusting me into the shape I should take. I felt so supported and humbled by their loving service. All of me suddenly got therapy yoga and I rested back into it and let their hands support me.

Walking out of that class that night was like walking out into a brand new day! Nothing like a shift in mindset to make you feel renewed and light and airy. I drove home in a softened mind state that told me I was going to sleep well. And I couldn’t help notice that I was also looking forward to the next class that I got to adjust in. You never know what you are going to learn when you sign up for things, it’s all about staying open to learning and letting Life take you to places you need to be at to learn the things you need to learn. Whilst all the while trying not to struggle against it to much 🙂

Sometimes we live by beliefs that have no basis in reality (actually this could happen more than sometimes :-)). We hear something so often we believe it to be true. Whole structures of society are then built around these “truths” but these structures are build on sandy ground and are not stable (although they are annoyingly persistent :-)). All it takes is a touch of awareness to watch them wobble and fall down.

A beautiful example of the above process can be illustrated by Darwin. Charles Darwin never said the words “Survival of the Fittest”, his studies and writings never supported the theory that only the strongest and fittest of a species would survive and conquer the weaker of a species. This sentiment was added to his words by minds that should have known better but blinded by their often racial or gender based discriminative projects, chose only to see the “truth” fit for their purpose. What Darwin did say is “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” I prefer Darwin’s take on this, as we all might not be able to be the fittest or the strongest due to our individual biological makeup, but we all get equal access to adaptability, as that is largely an internal quality that you get to decide upon. Just another choice for us to make.

I have heard another saying “The two things you can rely on in life are taxes and death”. I think the saying should be “The three things you can rely on in life are taxes, death and change” hee hee. Change is constant. Take your body for example, the cells are always constantly changing and being replaced so that it is actually true to say that you are never the same person from one day to the next. Think of your thoughts, never the same, sometimes they can change radically in the space of one day. How can you look to these for any solid confirmation of who you are?

This reminds me of another one my favourite sayings by Greek Philosopher Heraclitus, “You never step into the same river twice”. The waters are always flowing, so the water you step into today, is not the water you step in tomorrow, even if you step in the exact same spot. A lot like life. Yet sometimes we always try to live life with the same habitual ways that we used for yesterday no matter what it presents us with. I can think of many situations where I am doing this right now in my life but none highlight this process as much as yoga. You can not come to a practice today with yesterday’s body.

I did the other day much to my own peril and exacerbated a touchy lower back problem I have had for the last two weeks. More fool me. However, I kind of look at this injury like a bodily warning system to slow down for a week or two. My life is fairly hectic and eventful at the moment. I thank my body for once again being the ultimate wisdom who’s ruling I have learnt not to question. I don’t stop my yoga practice, I just adapt. A chance to rekindle my love of restorative home practice which I have let slide lately. Delicious, there is nothing more stabilising and relaxing than restorative yoga. My animals love it too as they usually settle themselves in on the blankets and bolsters I use and have a nap during each asana. As one of my friends would say this is “fur therapy”. Although I must remember to clean my mat when I have done this special animal assisted form of restorative, as there is nothing like rocking up to group practice and rolling your mat out in a cloud of cat and dog fur!

So whilst we might not be endowed with the biggest biceps or Einsteins brain power, we all have choice, whether we chose to exercise this right or not. This means we can all adapt to life and in this adaptability may lie not the ability to survive life but the true ability to live her, in all her glory, come what may.