Fourth Form of Madness

This week I was very fortunate to be involved with Homeless Connect, a day held in Russell Square in Northbridge where all the services a homeless person could require but may not usually be able to access are there, in one spot with the service providers attention focused solely on meeting their needs. The company I work for was a major fund raiser for the event this year and also put together a band of volunteers to help on the day. They also set up a one stop beauty shop in one of the buildings opposite the park. It was a very popular stop as each person could get access to a shower, a haircut, a facial, their nails done, reflexology and reiki.

Much to my surprise I volunteered to offer reiki to anyone that was interested. Originally I was down to just help with packing up after the event. That’s very much my style, stay in the background, be quiet and watch. However, when I found out one of the other ladies I work with was going to be giving reiki at the event but couldn’t make it until 12 noon, life just gave me a push and before I knew what I was doing I was signing up for the day of reiki. I have always given reiki a bit of a wide berth, not sure why but I always had plenty of resistance there. To be fair, I guess it is my beliefs about what a spiritual path should be about, you know all hard work, learning, contemplation (hee hee hee) that got in my way of just going with it. But leave it to the universe to keep bringing to you what you need to learn about and embrace. About six months ago, a girlfriend and I booked ourselves a private retreat down south and were taught reiki from someone who has been about the reiki traps, so to speak.

The whole time I was thinking I’m just going along with my girlfriend on this one, it’s not my thing but I will go along with it to at least learn something. Well the weekend was quite the experience, for some reason reiki just hit something in me that fought back. I still remember the drive back me driving, saying loudly and clearly that I don’t think much of reiki and that it doesn’t do anything and then proceeding to spew out all this stuff from my childhood that any other sane person would have forgotten by now. Up it came, on and on I ranted, until I caught my friend’s expression and humbly conceded that perhaps the reiki had worked on unloading a lot of stuff I had squashed down around my heart. However, my reiki practice since then has pretty much been on myself, my much appreciative pets and a very unimpressed and doubting husband (poor love he had to endure my hot rock massage phase as well – not good for his bjj street cred).

Anyhow there I was with my table set up, my yoga music going, my sweet smells burning and the fluorescent lights off standing in the doorway of the very clinical room I had been allocated watching all these people flock to get haircuts, their nails done, their feet massaged but no reiki takers. I needed a better promoting point. I learnt that day if you give something a title/label, however well meaning, you will alienate people and segregate us into the knowing and the not knowing. That was what was happening that day. If I said “hi would you like a reiki session” I could see the shutters go down, the shields go around their minds and the resistance rise in their hearts. I’ve been there with reiki, I know the signs. Just as the carpet started to wear thin from so many hasty retreats out of my room, I finally said “hi there would you like to join me for 10/15 mins of relaxation?”. Everybody loves and needs to relax, no matter who you are and what your life circumstances.

I was reminded of the time I was asked to give a yoga class to children living with cancer. The theme of the class was tactics for dealing with stress. You could not find a better tool than yoga for this. As well as asanas, I focussed on breathing, nothing fancy but effective. I chose a long relaxation and yoga nidra at the end. I was nervous when I came to give it as I thought the kids were going to think I was crazy (crazier than they already thought I was). You should never pre-empt anything. At the end of the 20 min relax I asked them to gradually start to move and to become seated in their own time. Nobody moved, not a muscle, not even the four camp guidance counsellors who had come to do the class. I repeated the instruction – still no movement. After what seemed like an eternity there was movement at the station and I breathed a sign of relief that I hadn’t comatosed 30 odd people. We had a little chat and then I kept saying ‘thank you, it was lovely to work with you, I’ll see you again sometime”. No-one got up, I stared out across the 30 odd faces, a little lost as to what was expected of me. Everyone stared back with spacey smiles. Then one beautiful youth said “I’m so mellow, I don’t think I can move”, there were ripples of laughter and it got the energy moving again in all our bodies. I sat their in total love and awe of the power of yoga. These kids face the very real fact that they might die, very soon, way before their parents and other siblings. That must be a very anxious and frightening thought and it was lovely to be able to share the art of yoga with these amazing beings to help them cope with all that this existence had in store for them.

So back in my little room at the Homeless Connect day, I began to have a steady flow of takers for a relaxation session. The sessions touted as 10/15 mins stretched into 30-40 mins. Many fell asleep and I was lulled into a state of total relaxation by their soft rhythmic breathing. Some shared with me some stories and history before or after the session and I listened to their stories be told from their own mouths. I was struck with how after every session their was such a connection between us, like both of us stood together unseparated by the usually social restraints. Often we hugged or shook hands and I felt like I was learning more about living than I had in the last forty years. One man stood out in particular. He just didn’t look like the person who would embrace a “relaxation” session. Once again you should never pre-empt. He lay down on my table and the minute I lay my hands on him, I was overcome with a feeling of softness and gentleness and beauty. I was quite overawed with his essence. The session was for him but I would be lying if I said I didn’t get more out of it than him. I felt an amazing peace with him and as he slowly woke up at the end, gathered his things together and shook my hand and said thanks, I held onto his hand with both of mine and thanked him for working on me today. As I watched him leave, I was reminded that we are all students and all teachers. What you have to learn in life, usually doesn’t come with a fancy title or alienating label, it just comes with the flow of life, the experiencing of it with an open attitude and fearless heart, and lots of love, crazy, maddening love.